One of my favoritest girlfriends is a farmer that runs a stand at the Takoma Park farmer's market. I pity men that have never plowed a female, farmer's pea patch whilst riding her big, red, John Deere tractor.
Anyway, that sweet, l'il, silo-raising, dirt-digger loves to shower me with squash blossoms. Normally, I love to be showered with stuffable bits of heaven, but She Say's back has been bothering her lately and she's not her normal food-lovey self, and Sen Jr., Third and Fourth (while adventurous eaters, draw the line at flowers) so I'm left to suck back 14-15 squash blossoms all by lonesome.
Life could be worse.
Anyway, I had these oyster mushrooms (from my last guerilla attack on the Shopper's Food Warehouse) and some yummy fontina cheese. I got Sen Say the Fourth to saute the shrooms in some olive oil. We threw the fontina in after the shrooms were browned and then added some tomatoes (striped green zebras and some sort of red one). After the cheese was soft we said, "Viola" and had our stuffing all ready to go.
Stuffing a squash blossom is really easy if you're a man and have ever masturbated (that's got to be at least 7 out of 10 men), or a female that's manually helped out a male friend.
Just take your squash blossom in your non-dominant hand and...spread...those...silky...petals...wiiiiiiiiiide...open with your dominant hand...then...mmmm....gently work that flower being careful not to break it, but don't let it forget who's in charge...grab a big fistful of stuffing and lay it into that sweet, sweet petal...uhhh...uhhhh..yeah....
With stuffing squash blossoms, less is more.
After we got the blossoms stuffed, we rolled them in an egg wash. T.J.O.C. will have you roll them in flour after the egg wash, but She Say is watching her carb intake (which makes her very slinky, yet voluptuous) so I skip the flour. 2 minutes per side (tops) in some olive oil and you will think you're in Valhalla (with a mushroom loving Norse vixen) when you bite into one of these.
I guess you could serve them with tomato sauce, but I want to taste the freshness of the tomatoes in the stuffing without it being smothered in sauce.
Here's a quick breakdown of what to do:
Put skillet on range on med-high heat
Take 8 oz. oyster diced mushrooms and saute in oil until browned
Add 8 oz. fontina (or other meltable) cheese
Add 8 oz. fresh tomatoes
Mix up shrooms, cheese and tomatoes and remove from heat
Remove pistils from 14 squash blossoms
Gently...mmm...oh so gently...open squash blossoms and put roughly one TBS shroom mixture into blossom
Twist ends of blossom up and tuck into self. Continue for all blossoms.
Break 2 eggs into shallow bowl and stir up
Dunk each stuffed blossom into egg
Heat olive oil in skillet over med high heat
Fry each blossom in olive oil until done (if you skip flour, the egg will look like a fried egg around the blossom...es moy, moy delicioso)
Serve these babies with an arugula salad:
Take arugula, break off stems, throw into bowl
Take 3 TBS red wine vinegar and mix with 3TBS olive oil (I use one blended with white truffles) ...whisk
Pour vinegar and oil over arugula
Grate a bunch of parmesan cheese over arugula ('bout 1/4 cup)
Sprinkle with a ton of black pepper
My chef's helper was a simple citrus rum...not sure what brand...
Music was the Lesbian...I mean Indigo Girls...I figured this was perfect for a vegetarian feast.
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